Can you bring to mind the last time that something you did had an exceptional result? What was special about that time and what did you do to achieve that result? When I ask people to do that little exercise, they often really struggle to find that positive thing to focus on but can give me ten examples of the time that something went wrong.
And yet, it’s as simple as changing what we decide to see. Is it that one time we ‘kerbed’ our tyres or those hundreds of times when we drove smoothly and calmly and nothing at all out of the ordinary happened?
This new habit would be one of the most supportive things we can ever do for ourselves.
When we decide to focus on those good results and on what we do well, we don’t waste time and valuable effort on worrying about the times things didn’t work out. We learn whatever lessons there are to learn from the experience and we move on.
Sometimes we play the “ah but’ game when someone gives us a compliment on something we have done, on a meal we have prepared the clothes we have chosen to wear. We find ourselves saying ‘ah but, this bit didn’t work, I put too much seasoning/too little seasoning in, I think this colour doesn’t really suit me”. Suddenly a feel-good moment is overshadowed and the unfortunate soul who ventured to offer us a compliment scuttles away doubting both themselves and their judgement.
One of the most important gifts we can give ourselves is the realisation that, with some things, good enough is good enough.
This is really important for us and for any young people we are caring for. We can all feel that we are never good enough or achieving enough and a gentle reminder of the times we did something really well has a huge impact on the self -esteem and confidence we need to carry us all forward.
I believe that it takes three weeks to make or break a habit, wouldn’t it be great if we all decided today that we are just going to stop criticising and judging and see the amazing things we are all doing on a daily basis?
Let’s start today and see where we are three weeks from now.
Don’t agonise… orrganise!
And yet, it’s as simple as changing what we decide to see. Is it that one time we ‘kerbed’ our tyres or those hundreds of times when we drove smoothly and calmly and nothing at all out of the ordinary happened?
This new habit would be one of the most supportive things we can ever do for ourselves.
When we decide to focus on those good results and on what we do well, we don’t waste time and valuable effort on worrying about the times things didn’t work out. We learn whatever lessons there are to learn from the experience and we move on.
Sometimes we play the “ah but’ game when someone gives us a compliment on something we have done, on a meal we have prepared the clothes we have chosen to wear. We find ourselves saying ‘ah but, this bit didn’t work, I put too much seasoning/too little seasoning in, I think this colour doesn’t really suit me”. Suddenly a feel-good moment is overshadowed and the unfortunate soul who ventured to offer us a compliment scuttles away doubting both themselves and their judgement.
One of the most important gifts we can give ourselves is the realisation that, with some things, good enough is good enough.
This is really important for us and for any young people we are caring for. We can all feel that we are never good enough or achieving enough and a gentle reminder of the times we did something really well has a huge impact on the self -esteem and confidence we need to carry us all forward.
I believe that it takes three weeks to make or break a habit, wouldn’t it be great if we all decided today that we are just going to stop criticising and judging and see the amazing things we are all doing on a daily basis?
Let’s start today and see where we are three weeks from now.
Don’t agonise… orrganise!
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