Summertime and the living is easy …again!

In just a few short weeks, the schools will break up for the summer holidays. Across the land, excited young people are getting ready for their break, looking forward to the end of the exam period or just keen not to have to get up early every morning. 

If we are to believe the holiday adverts on the television and the front pages of the glossy magazines, summer is one long break from the routine of our normal lives. A time to dress in lovely clothes and walk along sandy beaches all day, marvelling at the beautiful scenery and only stopping to spend quality family time in the evening, relaxing over dinner.  All of this sounds blissful but how many people do you know who actually live like that? The trouble with idealised views of how school and other holidays should be is that many people believe the fantasy is what they should be recreating for their own family and when they can’t achieve it they feel that they have failed. 

Most modern parents don’t really recognise themselves in that romanticised picture because they are building up to seven weeks of keeping their children amused during a British summer of uncertain weather and stretched resources.  They are already beginning to dread keeping children of different ages amused and away from each other’s throats and, of course, feeling really guilty because they have to juggle competing demands. 

Have you ever noticed how contagious stress can be? How it builds up and feeds on itself so everyone in the family is touched by it? You are tired and stressed out by trying to please everyone so you snap at your partner, they snap back at you, the children and young people in the household join in by squabbling with each other and soon all your rose tinted ideas about lovely family time are out of the window. Leaving everyone with a sour taste in their mouths. This summer why don’t you observe how many times you hear stressed out parents muttering about how good it will be when school starts back and things go back to normal.    

It’s a whole year since I wrote an article on the idyll associated with summertime and the holiday period and here we are again. I hope that some of the work we have been doing on resolutions and building new habits have made the approach to this year’s summer break positive and exciting. For some of us this can still be a difficult time of year and summertime? ...well the living is far from easy.

No one wants to say that having family time together is anything less than wonderful but that lovely old song from a bygone era speaks of a romantic view of the past when summer was made up of long golden days and there was no such thing as stress or rain or tantrums.  Most of us know that this is a rose tinted view but somehow, we allow ourselves to think maybe this time we can create lovely memories for our children that they will carry forever in their hearts.

The good news is that it doesn’t have to be so difficult. This summer and all the summers that follow can really be different.  The key thing is for every one of us to keep an eye on our own stress levels and to intervene before it all gets too much.

Of course, there are some brilliant short-term measures we can take. We can go for a spa day, walk by the sea, go to the mountains or even spend lots of money we can’t afford on treats for us and for our families. All of these things can give us relief but there are things we can do that will have far greater benefits in the longer term. Things that we can do every day for the rest of our lives that will add perspective to every family and personal situation we are called on to navigate. 

Nurturing and looking after yourself is the most important thing you can ever do. Remember that instruction on the plane to adjust your own oxygen mask before attempting to help anyone else? Make time for YOU every day.

Let go of stress throughout the day. Take three deep breaths whenever you get five minutes to yourself.  Take a deep breath whenever the phone rings. Be mindful of tension in your jaw, neck or shoulders and release it. You’ll be amazed at how effective these simple techniques are.

Remember it’s ok to say no to invitations. It’s lovely to be invited to summer barbecues or for coffee at other people’s homes but, it is so easy to find yourself over committed and without a free moment. Make your mind up how many ‘outings’ you want to make in any given week and mark them in your diary

If you are juggling work commitments and family time, set realistic limits. Sometimes, it helps just to write down what you are trying to get through in any given day. Seeing it written down in black and white can be a reality check.

If you are staying at home this summer, plan some inexpensive day trips to provide you all with the chance to relax in each other’s company. Turn off all tablets and phones and just be with your family. Everyone else will still be there when you come home.

Most of all, just take time each day to enjoy yourself and your family and take care of your own needs.

To find out how Hypnotherapy and NLP can help with holiday stress contact Francine at Orrganise.

Don’t agonise ...Orrganise!