Every New Year’s Eve people around the world make ambitious resolutions for the year ahead. For some, it’s going to the gym three times a week, others swear that this will be the year when they stop frittering money away and accumulating more and more ‘stuff’ that simply clutters up their lives, and some declare that they will leave their job and embark on a brilliant and fulfilling new career. 

Most of us will have given up on our resolutions by the time February dawns when we find that we can’t face going out for that run in the cold or just want to scuttle home from work in the evening without stopping at the gym. 

What if we took ‘spring cleaning’ to a new level by deciding to make changes to the way we think about ourselves and our goals in this, the most optimistic time of the year? With its longer, brighter and hopefully warmer days spring brings the promise of new growth.

Before embarking on wholesale changes, it would be a good idea to take a fresh look at what we have achieved so far. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly people leap to criticise themselves and how reluctant many of us are to praise and appreciate all the good things we do. 

Instead of lamenting what we didn’t tick off our list of resolutions, we could focus instead on what we did achieve. Maybe we got out into the open air and walked every weekend, or we moved house or job, or one of our children achieved something they really wanted and were really proud of themselves. Or we finally managed to make a regular date to go to the theatre or to see a film that we really enjoyed, or maybe we set up regular get-togethers with friends and family instead of that quick, scrawled promise in the annual Christmas card. It could be absolutely anything that gets us in touch with that sense of enjoyment and excitement.  

Taking pleasure in proud moments, positive experiences and achievements will spark memories of our best times and allow us to get in touch with a different part of ourselves, that confident and strong inner self that motivates us to keep going and reminds us of what we are capable of. 

This could be the year when we take a completely new approach to setting goals for the future. By focussing on all the things we have achieved, we highlight our strengths and congratulate ourselves for what we do instead of berating ourselves for what we don’t manage to do. This is such an important new habit that will influence our lives and our relationships.

If you would like to talk about how Hypnotherapy and Coaching with NLP could support you in developing these new habits contact me for a free initial consultation.


Don’t agonise… orrganise!

This December I decided to do something different. I wanted to wear something sparkly every day of the month in an effort to brighten up these dark winter days. My friends and family rolled their eyes in amusement. Not that they were at all surprised, accustomed as they are to my love for an excuse to dress up. I love glitz and sparkle, but when I started to hunt through cupboards and drawers to see what I had stashed away over the years, I couldn’t believe how much glitter was in there. Lovely shiny things that it never occurred to me to wear unless I was going out to dinner or visiting friends and I shudder to think how much I have spent over the years buying outfits for a life that’s simply not mine.
 
So far, I have loved this exercise and it has reminded me that the only day we are guaranteed is the one we are living today, so it makes sense to make the very best of it. The act of choosing something sparkly to wear in the morning has given me a little moment of mindfulness every day, a moment to shift my focus onto the day ahead instead of my usual habit of dressing without thinking, grabbing a coffee and diving out of the door. As an extra bonus, I have been reminded not to waste time keeping things for that special occasion which might come along every twelve months.   

At this time of year when we are all rushing around trying to prepare for and host the ‘perfect’ Christmas many of us judge ourselves so harshly. We don’t think we are achieving what we believe others are as we compare our own efforts with those glossy images we see on Facebook believing that what people post is an accurate reflection of their real lives.
 
We convince ourselves that the meal on our dinner table doesn’t look like the festive spread in that glossy magazine or that our family doesn’t resemble that well turned out, smiley family in those television adverts.
 
Wouldn’t it be great if we could just be kind to ourselves? Remember the last time you felt grumpy and put upon and cast your mind back to the impact those feelings had on all those around you. Now, picture an image of the ‘good enough’ Christmas when everyone gets the chance to relax and enjoy the company of friends and loved ones. When the Christmas dinner is delicious because it was a shared effort and all the pressure wasn’t heaped on just one person. 
 
In a perfect world, we’d all be going into Christmas having enjoyed listening to carols on the radio before popping out for a relaxed browse around the shops to soak up the festive atmosphere and ambling home to watch a seasonal film curled up on the sofa with a hot chocolate or a box of delicious treats.   However, here in the real world, the reality for most of us is that we are tired and stressed and just want to STOP!
 
So, start by taking a deep breath and letting go of the quest for perfection and embracing reality. Let’s all accept that none of us stepped out of a photo shoot and that Christmas dinner will be great if we are lucky enough to share it with people we love and who love us, it really doesn’t get more perfect than that.
 
For myself, I am taking the time to stop all the rushing around and reflect on the year we are just about to leave with all its bustle and upheaval.  I’m going to do my bit to brighten up my little corner of the world with a daily sparkle and, who knows, maybe I’ll carry this new habit on throughout 2019.
 
I would like to take this opportunity to thank my lovely family and friends for all their ongoing love and support. I also want to thank everyone I have had the honour of working with this year. As always, it has been an honour and I wish you all a happy and restful Christmas however you choose to spend it.
 
If you would like to give the gift of confidence, calm, weight loss or anything else to yourself or your loved ones, gift vouchers are available.

Don't agonise, orrganise!