We often overlook the many reasons why the changes we swear we really want to make don’t happen and the main one isn’t even that we forget how hard it is to revamp our lives when it is cold and dark and we’re feeling that all the gloss and shimmer of Christmas has left us. That might indeed be a factor and I’m not denying that it is very wintery outside my window. But, there are a lot of other reasons that we need to be aware of from not taking the time to commit to the steps we need to take to being wholehearted about the changes themselves.
There are some really important things we can all do right now to give ourselves the best chance of success when embarking on change of any kind.
The first step is to be completely honest with ourselves about whether or not we really want things to be different in our lives and if this is indeed our dream and not what we think we should want. What else would we have to do in order to change our lives and our habits?
We all need passion and determination to make any change at all. We can tell ourselves that we want a new career or a promotion at work, a different dress size or an expanded friendship circle but saying it out loud and turning on the spot three times like a character in a story isn’t going to make anything happen. It always surprises me how often people say they really, really want something but haven’t given any thought to what they have to do to make these changes happen.
Sometimes we don’t put any time at all into making a proper plan and checking that everything is in place to support us as we dash headlong into declaring that our lives are going to be completely different from everything that went before. We say that we are going to eat healthier food, do much more exercise, meet new and interesting people and that this is definitely going to be the year when we ditch that job and move towards the career of our dreams but we often forget to factor in any of the effort we need to make to make things happen.
Secondly, we need to believe in ourselves and believe that we can achieve anything we set our minds to. We all benefit from seeing ourselves achieving our dreams, inhabiting that future self and congratulating ourselves for taking those important steps into that future self.
We also need to make the effort that is required to get where we want to be whether that’s taking a course, getting up an hour earlier to walk outside or talking to people who work in the field we want to work in. Sometimes we need to take risks which can scare us whether that’s talking to those new people, sending away that short story we’ve slaved over then stuffed in the drawer or asking for that new opportunity at work. This step is so important and yet it can be the most difficult of all for many of us because we worry about appearing vulnerable or are simply afraid that we’ll be less than perfect. The truth is, there is absolutely no perfect and yet we allow the quest for this mythical state to be a powerful barrier to living our best lives and making the changes we dream of.
Sometimes we resist taking those small or not so small risks that fill us with dread, afraid to put our heads above the parapet in case we don’t achieve what we want to and others see us. On the contrary, taking chances presents us with valuable opportunities and can be great for us regardless of the eventual outcome. It can also be an inspiration for our family, friends and colleagues who are afraid to take those chances and could be empowered by our success and take chances of their own.
Finally, it is important to remember how important it is to persevere in the face of any setbacks or disappointments we might encounter along the way. These things happen to us all and they represent excellent opportunities to learn and adapt and build our resilience.
In the end, we all have the same resources at our disposal, namely time, energy and effort and how we use them will be unique to every individual. I am an experienced Hypnotherapist and NLP coach and I offer bespoke coaching to support people to achieve their goals. If you feel you would benefit from some guidance and you’d like to discuss some helpful new techniques contact me to set up a free introductory session.
Don’t agonise… orrganise!